Matt Stafford stars as Shane Falco

The RHMWAFFIPW is awarded to that individual who in the prior week has acted most in accordance to the highest standards of not being Tom Brady. This can be described as excellence in badassery, not skirt wearing and by extension successful pants-wearingship. The winner will receive the prestigious Dockers Trophy.  Find a list of previous winners here.

In this day and age in the NFL, quarterbacks have far and wide become mostly skirt wearers.  Now, it’s not all necessarily their fault, as it can certainly be argued that they are merely a product of the flawed system that Der Kommisar Goodell is cultivating: a system of grown men who are coddled like no other; a system that slowly but surely is eliminating the ability to even be able to hit a QB.  No matter who’s fault, QBs like Tom Brady with his skirt wearing tendencies are quickly becoming more the norm, with hard nosed QBs becoming a distant memory of an ancient past.

And because of the rarity of pants wearing QBs, when those events do occur they become that much more important to highlight.

First Runner Up: Matt Stafford


Matt Stafford doin work

Now last week when I heard that the Browns were going to play the Lions, I had every assumption that I was going to be watching some hilarious highlights of horrifically bad football being played.  Needless to say, as I watched the NFL Redzone channel last Sunday I was shocked to be interrupted every 30 seconds by yet another TD being scored in that game.  Now, it is likely that the awesome football game was merely the result of two completely horrendous defenses, as those long bombs looked like the fly routes I bitch people out on in Madden.  Yet that does not detract from the awesome display of firepower from both teams, and especially from the winning QB Matt Stafford.

Matt Stafford earns the 1st runner up slot for his overall performance in the game.  Now while it is true that some rookies show signs of brilliance, few do it to the tune of422 yards and 5 TDs. What makes those stats even more impressive is that all 5 of his touchdowns were to 5 different receivers, showing that he can find the open man when it counts. It was quite possibly one of the single best rookie displays ever, and because of his awesome performance I am going to erase his Green Bay performance from my memory (since he should not have been playing anyways, and by suiting up he earned even more pants).

Winner: Matt Stafford

I urge you to ignore most of that video and fastforward it to the 5:10 mark, as this is the performance that earns Matt Stafford his rightful place in the annals of pants wearing history. On what was supposed to be the last play of the game, Stafford keeps the play alive by running around like a Mexican chicken (much faster than normal chickens) until he finds someone in the endzone to throw to. As he unloads the ball, he gets absolutely obliterated. Lions fans everywhere sat in silence as they saw their gajillion dollar investment writhe on the turf. While Stafford was laid out in pain, an idiotic Browns DB committed pass interference to keep the game alive, and to put Matt Stafford into NFL lore.

As Stafford walked back out on to that field for the last play of the game, I would like to believe that this is what actually happened:

And the rest as they say, was history. Matt Stafford, we here at TYSOTB salute you.

God Bless America.

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