In troubling times such as these, it is good to know that one of our nation’s most revered publications is turning a critical eye to the important issues of the day. The Wall Street Journal has spent the last 6 years and $212M* funding the research of their cultural paradigm shifting piece “NFL Players sometimes say a joke school instead of their alma mater on Sunday Night Football”. Surely there is an untold story of legendary reporting fieldwork, political skullduggery, and vast intrigue associated with this project. I can see an “All The Kings Men” type thriller coming out of this in a couple of years.
But seriously. The WSJ Team Of Trained Monkeys department concluded that of the 549 player introductions this year, 5% fall into the “Joke/Commentary” category. Somebody get the Nobel Prize ready for these guys.
While we are on the subject, I want to go on record as being TOTALLY in favor of the joke answer to this question. If I make it to the pros soon, I won’t be wearing a monocle and an ascot talking about “(super white monotone voice) Harvard Undergrad, Harvard MBA sir.” Hell naw. I’ll be all “SWAGGER U” and then drop mad U’s on America. I don’t care how handsome and privileged I am (and it is a lot), America wants to be ENTERTAINED, SON!
I also don’t care how tired people get of players answering “The U”. I think it is awesome damnit. Go watch the 30 for 30 “The U” documentary and then tell me they don’t get to introduce themselves a unique way.
*These just aren’t real numbers at all