Posts Tagged Philadelphia Eagles
uhhh
Apr 4
And behold, a pale horse
Mar 25
It must be the apocalypse. I actually agree with something that came out of Stephen A. Smith’s keyboard. Probably despite his best efforts, and all of the intolerable little Stephen A. Smith mannerisms (corn on the Kalb? come on man), he manages to arrive at the correct conclusion that the Eagles is doing some non-righteous shit to Donovan McNabb right now. Of course, this is largely an issue of loyalty and other such values, so it fits squarely in Stevie A’s rather narrow wheelhouse of faux-moral outrage. But since he’s right this time its real moral outrage.
I'm just a gangsta I suppose...
Of course, I’d like to see a little more appeal to rationality, like pointing out the fact that D-Mac gives the Eagles the best chance to win a Super Bowl for the next 3 seasons at least. But you don’t look a gift Stephen A. Smith in the mouth I guess. It’s also probably a good thing this was communicated to me in print. I think if I heard him say this on TV or over the radio with every syllable of every word unnecessarily emphasized in a completely transparent attempt to maintain street cred with his “keep it real” shtick, I might immediately demand that D-Mac be strung up in town square.
Go to www.stephenasmith.com and check out the poll results. The People don't lie.
Please. And then put them in the NFC East. Everybody’s favorite Jim Rome knock-off (ed. note: why do you want to imitate somebody that nobody likes in the first place? I digress.) got over his little spat with the Philadelphia Inquirer just in time to drop this abortion, ripping the Eagles for refusing to hold on to veterans generally, and Brian Westbrook specifically. The official Speakerboxxx reaction was to do what I always do when Smith starts talking, namely to bang my head on my desk for a few minutes and then try to rip out my toenails with pliers to see if I can still feel pain. But this time I’m going to throw in the little twist of trying to refute his nonsense with logic and reason. So with the happy disclaimer that I have have a total hard-on for Brian Westbrook and everything he did for the Eagles, here it goes.
No matter how much things may change, leave it to the Eagles to remain the same. Produce, and they’ll keep you.
I’ve always liked the Eagles for their innovative thinking in the front office.
Brian Westbrook sure doesn’t [like it], and who can blame him? After eight years of relatively exemplary service, tainted by an injury-plagued 2009 season, the same running back who led the NFL in yards from scrimmage in 2007 is suddenly looking for a job. Mainly because he was due $7.25 million in a 2010 season that is expected to be uncapped.
What other reason would there be? Anyone with a casual understanding of the market for athletes knows that more often than not, teams are paying for past performance, not current performance. Players put up huge years, get huge contracts, and then regress to the mean. Well managed teams (read: not the Washington Redskins) try to minimize this phenomenon by not overpaying for the value a player provided a season or two ago. Do you really think Westbrook should be compensated in 2010 for the value he provided three seasons ago?
But Reid, Banner and all the others in charge who repeatedly fall short of Super Bowl glory year after every stinking year get to keep their paychecks coming, huh?
Reid is increasingly on a short leash for his in game performance. But Joe Banner manages the Eagles payroll in a way that would make any high end wealth manager envious. The front office continually finds undervalued talent, and as a result the Eagles are one of a handful of teams that has cap space year after year if they need to go after a big name free agent that they think might be worth the asking price. The reason they don’t is that Banner knows he can find comparable production for far cheaper. And Jeff Lurie owns the place.
Where’s Don “Only in America” King when you need him most?
Joe Banner washes his hands before he touches his dick.
The Eagles wouldn’t hesitate to point out Reid’s 108-67 record over 11 regular seasons (a .617 winning percentage). The eight winning seasons in that span. The five trips to the NFC title game. The Super Bowl appearance in 2005. The constant, unwavering, continual support of the local faithful, which has padded owner Jeffrey Lurie’s bulging wallet along the way.
Let me phrase that another way. The Eagles franchise, based on Reid’s tenure, has almost a 50% chance of reaching the conference title game in any given season. That borders on unbelievable in a league with this kind of parity.
And write it down for posterity…on February 25 in the year of our Lord 2010, someone first used the words constant, unwavering, continual, support, and faithful in the same sentence to refer to a Philadelphia Eagles fan base who, regarding personnel and performance, is as capricious as any in American sports.
But what about a Super Bowl?
“The Eagles don’t really care about that,” said one noted NFL agent, preferring anonymity, knowing he may have to deal with the Eagles in the future. “It’s not that they don’t care about winning. It’s really about what they define as winning. They pride themselves in being like the Patriots, but they’re nothing like New England. The Eagles look to scoot away talent at age 30, looking to infuse their youth movement, while the Patriots won’t hesitate to add a veteran here or there.”
Let me put this in context. The NFL, with a 16 game regular season, is only slightly better than a crapshoot. That is to say, the sample size isn’t large enough to be sure that the best team is actually winning. Again, the Eagles consistently excellent regular season performance over the last decade is testament to Reid and Banner. But the playoffs are even more of a crapshoot. As Billy Beane knows, all you can really do is consistently put your team in a position to compete in the playoffs. To say that a Super Bowl win after that is pure luck is pushing it, but it is subject to no small amount of random chance.
Regarding the Patriots comparison, there’s more of one than you might think. The Patriots won’t hesitate to add a veteran here or there when the veteran is severely undervalued by the market. Corey Dillon and Junior Seau could have made more money tending bars than most NFL teams were willing to pay them when the Patriots came calling. What the Patriots won’t do is hang on to a veterans at compensation rates that are disproportionate to their production for reasons of sentimentality. Neither will the Eagles.
Brian Dawkins can attest to it. So can Hugh Douglas. So can Jeremiah Trotter, Bobby Taylor, Jon Runyan, Tra Thomas, Troy Vincent, and a host of others.
I’ll give you Brian Dawkins off that list, and maybe Jeremiah Trotter the first time he was released, as mistakes.
That’s not to say the Eagles made the wrong decisions with any of those individuals at the time they were made.
So why cite it as evidence in your argument?
So who will lead this franchise in the season to come, in a likely uncapped year in which the Eagles have eight restricted free agents of their own? Who’ll decide to revert to 2004, when a gutsy move brought Terrell Owens to town, and firmly decide that second place and consolation prizes are no longer acceptable?
What about acquiring Julius Peppers? Or Minnesota’s Chester Taylor? How about calling up the Carolina Panthers and seeing if one of their 1,000-yard runners, DeAngelo Williams or Jonathan Stewart, may be available? And since Broncos coach Josh McDaniels seems to have his issues with Brandon Marshall, why not call Denver for an inquiry to get McNabb some help?
Terrell Owens didn’t win any Super Bowls in Philadelphia, by the way. As for the others, who’s to say they’re not talking to people about these guys. Julius Peppers is probably overvalued, but Chester Taylor certainly is not. Neither is Ladanian Tomlinson while we’re on the subject of veteran pass-catching running backs that excel in West Coast screen happy offenses. DeAngelo Williams will end up being overpaid for past production. Jonathan Stewart could be a bargain, I don’t know. Brandon Marshall could be undervalued because of his behavior issues, but just as likely the Eagles will let a big spender take a flier on him. The point is that you can’t lump all these players together as the type of veteran leaders the Eagles would automatically pass over. Their front office is as good as any at feeling out the market waters, and spending money when they know they can get the appropriate production.
But go for it Steve A. Apply for a GM job, go pay a bunch of “veteran leaders” like Albert Haynesworth and Brandon Marshall and and Brian Westbrook for their 2007-2009 production and see how it works out. Just make sure you do it for a team that’s in my favorite team’s division.
The Eagles cut Brian Westbrook today. As a longtime Eagles fan that lived through the Ricky Waters era, it has been an absolute pleasure to watch Westbrook the last 8 years, but it’s time to go. He probably shouldn’t have tried to come back from that second concussion last season, and I hope he’ll take this opportunity to retire for the sake of his health and his family.
Also, Westbrook getting cut a couple of days after Ladanian Tomlinson was not a coincidence. The Eagles see the potential to get a quality running back at washed-up running back market value, and because I’m clairvoyant I’m going to tell you right now, Tomlinson will be a Philadelphia Eagle by the weekend.
Tonight’s MNF match up between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Washington Redsk, er, Native-Americanskins is like Lindsey Lohan. You might have been able to talk me into it last year, but this season, I wouldn’t fuck it with your dick. This is a storied NFL rivalry that, on paper, features an NFC favorite with one of the most exciting offenses in the NFL. Unfortunately, on the field, that offense got shut down a week ago by the Raiders. And of course, any chance at seeing some quality football is immediately minimized by the inclusion of the Washington Redskins, the undisputed Courtney Love of the NFL. Instead of firing underachieving head coach Jim Zorn after a loss to the Chiefs last week, owner Dan Snyder chose to hand his balls play calling duties over to a “consultant.” Current odds of that working out well are just below the odds of Alessandra Ambrosio stumbling into my apartment to run a blow job marathon. That’s right, 8-1. So if you need a little pick me up to get interested in this one, we can’t blame you. Here are the rules to this week’s edition of the MNF drinking game. As always, enjoy responsibly.
MNF Standards:
Drink
1) anytime an announcer says something that could be construed as sexual innuendo. One of my favorites from last Sunday for example: “He just couldn’t hold on with Johnson plowing him from behind.”
2) anytime B-Boxx(x) is being B-Boxx(x). Knock yourself out with this one. Please.
3) anytime the play calling of Redskins consultant Sherman Lewis is discussed. By extension, drink anytime Jim Zorn looks impotent.
4) anytime Andy Reid takes up more than one half the total surface area of your TV screen.
5) anytime Andy Reid or Donovan McNabb does something completely inexplicable. This includes episodes of poor clock management, inappropriate play calling, bad challenges, throwing up in the huddle, playing for the tie, or not knowing the basic rules of football.
6) once for every Mike Vick sighting. Finish half your drink if Mike Vick plays and actually contributes to the Eagles gaining positive yardage.
7) anytime Jason Campbell demonstrates that he’s not a very good quarterback. Be careful with this one.
8 ) three times for every Albert Haynesworth “injury.”
9) any time an announcer says the full version of something that is usually otherwise abbreviated, e.g. when Jon Gruden calls the NFL the National Football League.
10) fuck it. once for every point scored. my guess is you won’t be drinking much more than 13 sips of Miller Lite for this one.
POWERBALL Word of the Week. Drink any time the word “PLATE” is used.
Enjoy.
Sheriff Gonna Getcha says, “If you’re not having fun, fun will be provided for you!”
