Posts Tagged Jenn Sterger

On Jenn Sterger’s Tits

I want to come back to an issue we’ve mentioned tangentially on this blog, and which is now back in the news- hot chicks that attend FSU football games, most notably, Jenn Sterger. Sterger is drawing new attention after announcing her intention to have her implants removed.

Given Sterger’s rather cryptic explanation for her decision, speculation as to her real motivation is rampant. But here at TYSOTB the only speculation we do is on Spanish Riviera real estate. I could give two shits about what this chick does with her tits. I happen to love Jenn Sterger because she’s a master self-promoter that somehow managed to sell what costs a dime a dozen at FSU, that is to say, big fake tits and a tan.

This chick could sell ice to eskimos. What i do think is hilarious are the comments to her blog from the godless armies of douchy betas that tell her they are fans because she is witty and insightful. Now, I’ve read Sterger’s work at SI, and on her blog, and I can tell you that this chick is the Shakespeare of chicks that got famous by being hot at football games.

Alas, that is a distinction somewhat akin to winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics. If those particular Special Olympics had one competitor. Sterger’s blog is some of the most hilarious disconnected from reality non sequitur stream of consciousness rambling you will ever come across in your life. But from reading her comment sections, you might think it was downright literary. Let’s take a look at some choice comments.

“As a long time reader from back in the early myspace days, I always was more attracted to to your wit & wisdom.”
-Swampy

“I became a fan of yours because of the work you did with SI, not from which you blogged today about. Your blogs are very well written and insightful.”
-Al

“Implants, or no implants, I’ve joined the ranks of those who admit that reading your blogs are a guilty pleasure b/c I enjoy your openness, your witty sense of humor, and your refreshingly honest opinion of people, and relationships. As long as you keep writing, I’ll keep reading.”
-Warren Wallace

And this pitiable parade of sycophantic veneration continues. I wonder how many of these guys got to stick their dick between those puppies. That was rhetorical. These guys, aside from having some serious personal dignity issues, are missing the point entirely. Sterger’s core competency is not in being hot. She knows you can barely give that shit away. And it’s definitely not in writing. She’s not an idiot, and I think she’d probably agree with both of those statements. But she is a great self promoter, and she’s got you guys hook, line, and sinker. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Something tells me she’ll be just fine.

Jenn Sterger minus implants...

Jenn Sterger minus implants...

Sorry Jenn, that was below the belt. I didn’t mean to imply you were that bad of a writer.

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FSU Student Athletes More Advanced Than Previously Suspected

It’s been a tough month for “The Program” at ESU FSU with legendary coach James Caan Bobby Bowden fighting for his football life.  Life will not get any easier after today’s release of 700 pages of NCAA transcripts detailing the extent of academic dishonesty in the FSU athletic programs.

no, no, no theres two Bs in Bobby, boys.

Among the thoroughly unsurprising revelations are reports that tutors wrote papers for athletes, and that some athletes read at a second grade level.

Musical Cultures of the World Class Photo 2007

No one should be naive enough to think this type of stuff doesn’t go on at every other big name, big money NCAA sports program.  However, I am a legacy FSU fan, and even I am convinced that Bobby Bowden has presided over the greatest criminal enterprise in college sports for over 30 years.  I only feel compelled to bring this up because of the mindless hypocrisy of FSU fans that are the first ones to pile on when any other program (especially The U) experiences the most minor scandal.  It is a funny and poignant commentary on the college sports culture that Bobby can weather scandal after scandal, only to have the heat turned up the second he starts losing.

That was cynical, so in a related story, if you’re a heterosexual male (or a lesbian i guess), go to google images and search for “florida state football.”  You don’t get to actual football players until like the third row.  I’d sell my soul to read at a second grade level if it would help me pull this kind of ass regularly.  Usually I only pull this kind of ass on Tuesdays.

I went to the wrong college

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