Posts Tagged inexplicable trades

It’s the best week EEEVVVEEEERRRRR!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen... the Ted Ginn era

(sprays bottle 5 bottles of Cristal over brazillian model housekeepers)

Somehow I didn’t think my week could get any better after the Brandon Marshall trade.  And much like when I doubted your mom having no gag reflex, I was wrong.

Today Jeff Irelandbaumsteinberg may have pulled off the most one sided business transaction in history:  Another football team gave up compensation for the rights to employ Ted Ginn as a football player.  That’s right, Teddy G is being sent to San Francisco for a 5th round draft pick!   No word on if the Ginn family is covered in this transaction, or if their rights are retained by Miami.

(gets hit with a roll of hundreds, starts laughing and has a money fight with Speakerboxxx)

Ahhh it’s been a fun ride, Teddy.  We will have to find someone else to run out of bounds on 3rd down a yard before the first down marker.  Or drop wide open passes.  Or have historically bad and league worst YAC.  Or to sleep in the meeting rooms instead of practicing or working out.

Nothing personal against Ginn.  I am sure he is a nice guy, and he never got into any trouble in Miami.  But he is as bad at his job as anyone in america, and today is a Miami Dolphins holiday.

(chugs half a bottle of Jim Beam, walks down the street hugging every stranger one by one)

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Braves Trade Vazquez, Hopes, to Yankees

polar bear facepalm

In a universally acclaimed move*, Atlanta Braves GM Frank Wren has traded Javier Vazquez to the Yankees for a sub replacement level outfielder and some prospects that are years away from even having a chance to contribute.   Just to be clear, that is the Javier Vazquez who struck out 238 last year on route to a panty dropping 1.03 WHIP, making him one of the 4 or 5 most effective pitchers in baseball.  

In what amounts to one of the clumsiest salary dumps in recent history, Wren has retained the more expensive, less effective pitcher in Derek Lowe, while shipping off the affordable and actually good at his job Vazquez.   I know what you are thinking:  “This sucks, but we will definately use that new $10M in salary flexibility to sign the big bat whose absence cost the Braves a playoff spot last year.  “  WRONG BITCH!

So basically, in Bobby Cox’s final year, and in the twilight of Chipper’s career, Frank Wren has opted to move our best pitcher and not address our most glaring weakness, power hitting.  Coupling this with an (formerly even more) awesome core of starters and All-World RF Jason Heyward debuting this year, it would be the perfect time to take a run at assembling a contender.  Instead we will enter 2010 with a club featuring less pitching and the same dismal hitting that took us to 3rd place in 2009.

When reached for comment, Vato Loco chugged 15 oz of whiskey and shot a hole in his computer monitor.

*By Yankees Fans

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