Pictured: Vato Loco with a tan
Listen, I’m gonna level with you here. I’m not here to f you around. I’ve gotta shoot straight from the hip. Put it all on the table. Naw mean? Whatever dog.
Anyways, I need a combined 46 fantasy points from Adrian Peterson and Percy Harvin to beat David Rockefeller Jr. in the Bohemian Club Fantasy League Super Bowl. First prize? Two Swiss banks and the deed to an island that only rich people know about. So when I tell you that I will be drinking heavily tonight, you will believe me. Rulezz:
- Anytime someone wears pants. See our glossary for the definition of pantswearing.
- Anytime the announcers say something, that out of context, could be taken as sexual innuendo (Boy, I’d love to have Brett Favre hit me with a couple of balls)
- Anytime Speakerboxx(x) is being Speakerboxx(x). He is being extra Speakerboxx(x)y tonight, trust me.
- Anytime the camera shows a shot of Brett Favre with his helmet off
- Anytime the camera shows both Favre and Childress, drink double. If they do a split screen that shows Favre on one side and Childress on the other, finish your drink.
- Drink 1/4 bottle of Champagne for each TD scored by AP or Percy Harvin. Drink 8 bottles of champagne and pour an additional 14 bottles on strippers if they combine for over 46 fantasy points.
- Anytime Lovie Smith looks confused
- Anytime Jay Cutler throws an interception. Actually, take a half drink everytime this happens… you don’t want to have alcohol poisoning by the second quarter
- Anytime a quarterback gets sacked. Drink double and high five your buddy if it looks like that asshat Favre is in legitimate pain.
- Screw you Brett Favre (do whatever you want man)
And the powerball word of the week is… BENCH. Drink anytime you hear the word BENCH.
Drink onward christian soldiers.
