Breaking: The United States of America has drawn England, Algeria, and Slovenia in Group C for the World Cup 2010, a welcome respite after being assigned to the 2006 Group of Death with Ghana and Italy, who lied, cheated and dove their way through the group stage en route to the most illegitimate World Cup victory in history. But I’m not bitter.

Zinedine Zidane: American Hero (Image credit: allanpanisa via Freakingnews)

Zinedine Zidane: American Hero (Image credit: allanpanisa via Freakingnews)

Anyway, all knowledgeable commentators are calling 2010 Group C the foofiest group that has ever been drawn in the history of the World Cup. England and the US are notorious underachievers, and Algeria and Slovenia are not even real countries. But despite their history of non-pantswearing in the WC (2006 excluded of course), their spirited performance in last summer’s Confederations Cup definitively show that the United States will win the 2010 World Cup. While analysis of elimination games awaits the results of group stages, early reports indicate that the US will destroy its group opponents and then bring them God and Democracy.

My prediction? PWN.

Id love to spray some democracy all over thos...wait what was the question?

I'd love to spray some democracy all over thos...wait what was the question?

Update: US coach Bob Bradley can’t even keep a straight face talking about how Algeria and Slovenia are good teams and the US has to take them seriously. God Bless America.

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