I’ll tell you which group of people pisses me off the most.  Senate Investigatory Subcomittees.    The second most me-pissingoffest group is the tinfoil hat wearing faction of dumbasses who insist to me that Vince Young is the greatest college football player that ever lived.  I consulted the Elias Sports Bureau, which tracks the “Overall College Athlete Skill and Achievement” (O.C.A.S.A.)  stat, which is a totally objective and 100% accurate statistic.  It is the definititive metric of the merit of any football player.  Their results:

#1 Tim Tebow – O.C.A.S.A. of 4,404,293

#2 Danny Wuerfful – O.C.A.S.A. of 5,403

#3 Hershel Walker, Archie Griffin, Jim Thorpe tied with O.C.A.S.A. 4,320

#24 Vince Young – O.C.A.S.A. 738

The point is Vince Young is top 25 good, but not the best ever.   In fact after this year, the words best ever will be retired from our langauge, and just replaced with “Tebow”.  People will only debate about who is the “2nd most Tebow” and so on.

Anyways.  Sidetracked.  There are only a couple of things you need to know about Vince Young: 1) Homey is crazy 2) He is approximately as smart as a 9 week old puppy 3) Vince is not a good NFL Quarterback.  I’m taking the Texans big time.  And now for the rules.  Drink anytime:

  1. Speakerboxx(x) is being Speakerboxx(x)
  2. An announcer says something that could be construed as sexual innuendo if taken out of context (Mario Williams came HARD along the backside there)
  3. A player behaves in a pants-worthy fashion (definition here).
  4. Vince Young makes a bad decision
  5. Chris Johnson is very fast
  6. Andre Johnson gets a reception for more then 10 yards.  Drink extra, preferable champagne, if he scores a touchdown.  Stay out until 4 am pouring champagne on strippers if he scores more then the 26.5 pts I need to win my fantasy league game.
  7. An announcer is verbally fellating a player for a totally average, or worse, play.
  8. Anything to do with the 2006 NFL Draft is discussed
  9. An Offensive play of longer then 20 yards
  10. Terrible commercial of any kind

And the POWERBALL WORD of the week:Impact.  Drink anytime the word Impact  appears in any form.

Enjoy the matchup.  Put your positive chi towards Andre Johnson.

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