Packers Fan Announces He Will Return To Drinking For Another Season
Does The Onion have a monopoly on funny in America? How is it possible that there are about 2 funny TV shows and maybe 3 funny movies a year, but yet The Onion just kills it every week? Do they have access to some kind of secret pipeline of really funny people that they get to before everyone else? Like if you take the ASVAB, and you score super hilarious, you get abducted by a bunch of dudes in a helicopter and taken to an Onion facility?*
*Little known fact: This is also how Waffle House Short order cooks are recruited. This takes place if you score in the 99.95th or above percentile. They are also paid $750K a year commiserate with their skills.
